Wasteland Express Delivery Service Solo Campaign Mode: Session 3
I decided to play the Campaign Mode of this game solo. There is no formal solo mode, so I’m merely tracking how many turns it takes me to lock down three Priority First-Class Contracts. I’m playing the entire campaign as The Fallen, the salty former cultist who drives a school bus. These notes are from #3. Less Than Dead. The master narrative has resurfaced Grand Lord Emperor Torque as a character and a mission. We got intel that says he’s back and he’s a dick and he’s a cheater. Whatever. I’m going to make some money.
Writeup for #1. Welcome to the Wasteland is here. #2. Secret Mission is here.
Public Priority First Class Contracts
• Smuggler
• Blue Screen of Death
• Grand Lord Emperor Torque
Turns Elapsed: 11
Shady appears and offers to ride shotgun as my starting ally. He’s going to be handy for the first step of the “Ivory Towers” mission I draw from The Archive. He helps me buy at The Citadel for cheap and smuggle the proceeds to New Alexandria. I hang around there an extra turn to buy an extra general-purpose cargo liner and an MG. Now I’m throwing up a dust plume, crepuscular-like.
What do you mean you need “EVEN MOAR WATER,” you trying to build a log flume ride or something
I make a quick food buy and deliver it to Delos. I can’t Purchase again, so I barrel across the rutilant wastes to Corinth and pick up a mission from The Oracles of Ceres: “Free Market.” Target of opportunity: I deliver food to Silo 42 because nearby vendors were offering it cheap and Silo 42 was close. I double back to Dispatch to burn new earnings on some Vintage Hardware for the “Blue Screen of Death” requirement. The sun sets before I can ferry it to The Depot.
I drop off the Commodore 64 and also manage to fulfill the “Free Market” mission requirement at Dispatch. Shady is ousted from the sleeper cab in favor of Butch. I’ve completed 1/3 of Blue Screen of Death and 2/3 of Smuggler public Priority First-Class Contracts. I’m feeling pretty efficient.
I burn a turn buying Ammo at Dispatch because demand is nuts right now—$11 Scrap/unit—so OK. I can dump it in New New York in one move. Which I do, then parlay it right back into buying more Archaic Chips, and haul them to The Depot. “Blue Screen of Death” is 2/3 complete.
Scanning around with the binocs after a piss break, I see that a Bonesaw Raider Truck just drifted into reach. I have an MG. The contents of his bed are fascinating: an Ammo and a Water that will trigger a crazy payday for a dual Demand marker at Delos. This would be “fuck you money,” so I give the Raider a try. It’s Section 8. My MG isn’t enough, I lose and take a damage. I try again and lose, now my Armor is clean tore off. I lose again. I decide to attack again, my rolls can’t stay this poor: I lose again, now my auxiliary General Purpose hold is shot up. Sunk cost: fuck this guy. I attack AGAIN. Never have dice been this putrid; a hit to my Sleeper Cab slays Butch.
I’m in a purple rage. The Depot is less than a move away and my bus is shot to hell. I detach a bit and go get repaired. I won’t get to take it out on Section 8, but whoever the fuck is in this Bonesaw truck is going to die next time. Next time it turns out to be Buzzsaw, who’s even tougher than Section 8. I’m in a death spiral of fixation. I lose by one shot to Buzzsaw.
The Message finally gets through: OK, I’m leaving. I disengage without further damage and go to The Citadel and pull “A Delivery,” which will complete my trio of Smuggling runs. But I still have murder in my heart for Bonesaw. I’m going to take that truck down. Fuck the turn count. At the end of the turn, I’m almost ready to pull into New Alexandria’s gates, which will notch a Priority First-Class completion. I am still SO MAD. There were SO MANY THINGS inside of Butch that are now on my upholstery.
I deliver food to New Alexandria, completing Smuggler. I hammer it straight fo the Bonesaw truck and see Zed behind the wheel. I light him up and feel hollow afterwards as I haul ass to Delos for the delivery. Big profit. Now to Dispatch to blow everything on tech and maybe a piece of ass.
After a couple turns eating dust on the road, the third GameBoy chunk is delivered. That’s two Priority First-Class Contracts completed. I drive to The Citadel and fish for the third and decisive contract: I get “Coups Aren’t Cool,” which requires me to fulfill demand at a New Republic Army location for at least 18 $scrap. Ok. I’ll do it. I burn a turn filling my Ammo hold at The Citadel because ammo is still fetching kooky prices. I dump the single ammo crate for breathtaking margin, but I still have no clear path to an $18 trade with a NRA outpost.
I contemplate my options and cool my heels, repairing damage and installing a third cargo hold that I’ll need to deliver a water payoff to satisfy “Coups Aren’t Cool” requirements. Water? IN THIS ECONOMY? On my penultimate turn I fill my newly fitted cargo holds with three units of water for most of my cash on hand. I flog the bus back to Terminus and make a Delivery worth $18. That’s the win, kids. Thanks for nothing, Chapter 3.
Summary: I can only imagine what could have happened with a little bit more luck across my many fruitless battles with Bonesaw Raiders. Or a little bit less pride. Either I was perverse or the dice were. In either case, it adds up to 11 ugly, amateurish turns.
Next: #4. Calm Before the Storm